Around 14 million people in the UK regularly use social networking sites. It seems an innocent enough past time and a way of keeping in touch with friends and acquaintances, near and far. However, a recent survey of divorce petitions found that 1 in 5 contained references to Facebook or similar sites.
So whilst such sites help you stay connected with your friends they also offer the temptation to search for old flames or that special person you once had a crush on. What potentially starts off as a bit of harmless fun and intrigue can soon turn in to something more serious.
It often starts innocently enough. You are just catching up, talking about old times but in some cases matters can quickly snowball. The odd poke here and there then turns in to flirtatious messages and before you know it you have arranged to meet.
Such behaviour is not confined to old friends and previous lovers. In some instances the same can happen with complete strangers. The internet gives people the opportunity to portray themselves in a different, more confident manner. There is a protective cushion in this virtual world that gives people the confidence to say things that they may not feel comfortable saying face to face and can allow them to reinvent themselves. They can have a virtual world personality. This can lead to people making decisions that they simply would not make in their “normal” lives. Sometimes matters can spiral out of control.
It is important to say that most people using social networking sites are not doing so with the intention of being unfaithful. However, it is becoming increasingly clear that the temptation to start something that you then do not wish to stop is having an impact on an increasing number of marriages.
However, whilst the internet may provide the opportunity to pursue an on-line relationship it can also provide the evidence to prove the infidelity. It is becoming increasingly common for people who are divorcing or separating to produce evidence in the form of on-line conversations, text messages and emails.
Karen Moores, Sydney Mitchell says:
"Over the last five years there has been a definite rise in the number of internet related divorces and increasingly so over the last two years. It started off with Friends Reunited where people were contacting old friends from their school days, arranging to meet up and then starting affairs. Now it’s Facebook, with people discovering their partners emailing or pictured with other people, or on websites that they really should not be.
We have often found it is not necessarily the wife or husband who has discovered their errant partner’s wrongdoing.
It is the friend of a friend who you added 12 months ago and forgot about, who then says “you’ll never guess what I found your husband doing on Facebook. The internet is very dangerous and people are deeply complacent about their privacy."
Social networking relationships have an impact not just on those who are married but couples who simply live together. Whilst the divorce rate has fallen in recent years two in five marriages are still failing and whilst there are no statistics for the breakdown of cohabiting couples relationships, one in four children now live in a single parent household.
Karen Moores is a Partner with Sydney Mitchell’s specialist family law department.
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